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January 20, 2007
Shards Aplenty
This has apparently been the week to break old things.
Last night I dropped a very large and heavy glass serving platter along with a smaller glass platter from a top cabinet shelf as I was reaching on tiptoe for a large glass bowl that was on the same shelf. The best part was when my coffee pot tried to break their fall. That didn't work out so well and all three things smashed into a million pieces all over my kitchen. After the shock wore off a bit and I was able to pick my jaw up off of the floor, I have to admit there was something kind of awesomely cool about it.
However, the whole "awesomely cool" thing quickly wore off when I realized that I was the one that was going to be cleaning it all up. Man, was THAT ever fun! ... at 1:30 AM ... when I was totally tired and should have been sleeping instead. Looking on the bright-ish side, this incident gave me an excuse to buy a new coffee pot today. Mine was an ancient hand-me-down type thing. I have no idea how old it actually was, but I think it's safe to go with *very*. I've never actually purchased one before either, so that was kind of fun I suppose. But on a scale of 1 to 10 of Life's Most Enjoyable Things, 10 being the most enjoyable, this situation as a whole only gets 2 stars.
Anyway, the moral of this story is: Do not make pasta salad at 1:30 AM.
. . . or maybe the moral should be: Don't be short.
It's gotta be one of those...
Pearls of "wisdom" by Jamie at January 20, 2007 09:19 PM
Comments
The moral is that short people can eat as much pasta salad as they like, as long as they don't make it themselves, or at least don't try to cook after midnight, otherwise they break a bunch of stuff in their kitchen, unless they have the sense to use a step stool, as long as they don't fall off of it.
Yeah, it's a little clunky, we'll have to work on the wording.
(BTW, "Shards Aplenty" is totally your new band name.)
Posted by: The Future Mrs. Farfalle at January 21, 2007 01:53 AM
No offense, but...
Posted by: nuje at January 21, 2007 10:07 AM
I plan on eating pasta salad today despite new The Rules, Mrs. Farfalle-head.
Randy Newman would very much approve of my kitchen.
See. Since I am short I can't usually see what is in the microwave very well because like all modern housing, the microwave has been mounted over the stove so that the underneath part of the microwave can act as a vent hood. Which was a brilliant idea of kitchen layout design for professional basketball players with compact kitchen design needs. However, this has been an unfortunate plight for NON-professional basketball player population as we all got stuck with this design as well. Apparently. Allz I'm saying is ... would it be too much to ask that I actually be able *to see* what I am trying to cook in the microwave with out having to stand on a ladder?
So today when I was reaching up over my head to get my Malt-O-Meal out of the microwave I didn't realize that all of the liquid hadn't yet been absorbed and a whole bunch of excruciatingly hot milk splashed all over both of my hands. So far the blistering and swelling have been mild, but the pain is kind of intense.
We have no reason to live and we all deserve to suffer.
. . . sounds fair.
Posted by: Jamie at January 21, 2007 01:25 PM
Well, seeing as how you've only been this height for a few weeks, I can understand why you haven't gone out and gotten yourself one of the aforementioned stepstools. You should see if the problem clears up on it's own before you do something like that. Alternately, you could try some welding gloves for the Malt-O-Meal problem. But again, don't rush into anything here.
Posted by: The Future Mrs. My Aren't We Pissy at January 21, 2007 06:14 PM
Stepstool, schmepstool, Missy. This is what is called Stickin' It To The Man.
Welding gloves? In my own kitchen? Is it really necessary to inconvenience myself to such ridiculous degrees just so I can get around in my own kitchen?? Hells no!! That's right, I plan on scalding myself and endangering my own life, on a daily basis, until they relent. And by "relent" I guess I mean until they show up on my doorstep to perform a free kitchen remodel. And by "they" I guess I mean ... uh . . .
. . . that's right! Stickin' it to the man!!!
Posted by: Jamie at January 21, 2007 07:32 PM
Pennie Layne pooped in her potty today!
Posted by: Nino at January 21, 2007 11:05 PM